I Will Teach You To Appreciate Yourself, My Child, Because You Are The Most Beautiful In This World
That message, that idea, is something that we all habitually keep in mind as mothers, fathers, and educators. Yet, as Wayne Dyer explained in The Sore Point , when you are able to appreciate yourself, someone else’s disapproval is not something to worry or frighten you. We understand this as adults, but it is not the same for children.
“Self-love is the starting point for the development of people who have the courage to take responsibility for their own existence”
-Viktor Frankl-
An upbringing where there is disapproval and criticism that we sometimes direct to children thinking that this is how we are ” teaching them how life is ” is detrimental. What is achieved in the short and long term is poor self-esteem, a misperception of oneself, due to a lack of emotional nourishment. When the child is an adult, they will submit to whatever others say or do.
It is harder than we think to nurture a good self-concept or a strong and healthy self-assessment that every child should build very early on. The main reason for this is very simple: if mom and dad do not value each other, they will sow weaknesses and insecurities in the hearts of their children.
Today we give you a few things to think about in “ I am mom ”.
I will teach you to value yourself, I will take care of myself to convey my strengths
Something that we have no doubt suggested to you on many occasions is that you should invest in your well-being, emotional health, and personal growth. When you are happy you will radiate love. If you know how to give love, you will give the world strong men and women.
Well worth the task and effort. For this reason, we recommend that you consider the following ideas.
I will teach you to appreciate yourself through play
The symbolic game is a great way to teach children values and appropriate psychological strategies.
A playful and easy way to teach your child to appreciate themselves is through dolls, be they stuffed animals or the typical Lego figures.
- You can recreate stories: “Carlos is told at school that he is ugly and clumsy.” “What would you say to help him?”, “And if you were Carlos… what would you think? How would you react? Would you really believe that you are clumsy just because another child tells you that? “
Correct with positive reinforcement
Knowing how to correct our children is an art not all fathers and mothers have mastered. We should never get into the following typical situations. “You broke something again, you are the worst child in the world”. “You failed the exam because it is clear that math is just not your thing, your brother tries a lot more than you”.
- Positive reinforcement for correction is based on telling the child what they did wrong and how they can do it better.
- If the reinforcement is positive, a comparison is never made.
- It is also based on knowing how to give the little one confidence: “I know you did something wrong, but mom trusts you and knows you can do it right”.
I will avoid unbelievable or exaggerated flattery
Something we should know is that in many cases, certain words, phrases, and adjectives that are generally positive are not very useful in building self-esteem.
Phrases like “You are the most beautiful child”, “You are the smartest child in the world” or the way in which we briefly look at a child’s drawing and then say “It’s very beautiful” do not really serve our children.
The enriching support that promotes self-esteem and helps the child to evaluate themselves positively must be sincere, logical, appropriate and, most importantly, real.
- For this reason , it is important that you personalize comments : “You are a responsible child and I love you for who you are. I know that you will achieve what you set out to do because you can try, and although you sometimes make mistakes, mom will be there to help you. “
- Be objective in your reviews and make sure they are useful: “I like the drawing, although I think this color would have been better, what do you think?”
“People who think they can’t do something will never do it, even if they have the skills”
-Indira Gandhi-
I will teach you to value yourself through autonomy and responsibility
In order to promote self-esteem, it is important that the child takes responsibility and that he gradually learns to be autonomous. That way, it will be proud of its accomplishments and skills.
However, the autonomy will always be in proportion to its capabilities and how it shows us that it is able to successfully take on certain responsibilities.
This will show us in time. We will be experienced mediators and wise ancestors who know how and in what way to encourage autonomy in our child, but also give them strong roots.
