Happy Children Instead Of Perfect Children
All parents want happy children who are prepared for life so that they can solve everyday difficulties and assert themselves.
But in trying to do this through parenting, we often put too much pressure on our children and ask them to be the best: perfect children rather than happy children.
When you gave birth to your child, you met the most wonderful being in the world. It was much nicer than in the dream, just perfect. Your child is perfect, do not doubt it!
You know it, but you are also aware that the sweet and intelligent baby must slowly prepare for a demanding, competitive world in which only the strongest survive.
Awareness of the importance of competitiveness in modern times is a huge pressure on parents too. They therefore try to enroll their child in a wide variety of activities and demand and demand a lot from them.
For many parents, their children’s academic education comes first. This means that if you want your child to play an instrument, expect excellent grades; that it is clean, well behaved and well behaved. Of course, Ess has to eat everything, do the homework … it should be the perfect child.
You already know: the struggle in adult life is tough, which is also often felt between parents. Some even compete with others in raising their children. The next generation should be among the best, be prepared for the modern world … simply perfect.
But many parents forget that children also need time for themselves. To play, get dirty, hang around in bed, play in the park with peers, and be happy.
The misery of the perfect child
You have probably already witnessed a father shouting at his child at a football game about how to throw the ball.
If you dare to widen your gaze a little and analyze the mental photo, you will become aware that there are a number of other fathers sitting next to this controlling father, who are also all yelling at their children what they have to do.
Mothers react the same way, not only when playing soccer, but also when playing ballet or other activities.
Some parents get so involved in their children’s activities that it seems like they are living those moments through them. They are frustrated when the children behave differently than they would like.
They completely forget that their child is making an effort and trying to give the best. In addition, it has to endure the pressure from the parents. The presence of mother and father alone makes it particularly nervous. After all, it doesn’t want to disappoint you.
At this point, parents should remind themselves that it is only children who learn, play, and dance for fun. The learning process should be entertaining and fun!
Too much pressure and demands create frustration. The therapist and psychologist Esther Esteban assures that children are negatively influenced when they are under too much pressure. Even worse, however, is constantly comparing them to others who are excellent at certain activities.
Comparisons are unsympathetic and unfair, because everyone is different and has different abilities. A comparison is equivalent to a reproach. This gives children the subtle message: “You are not good enough!”
In one of her articles, the expert recommends the following:
Raise happy children, not perfect ones
Freedom is one of the most valuable human achievements. The story tells of countless struggles to regain freedom. Why are you stealing your child’s freedom? Let it be a child, a happy child.
You have to guide it, put it on the right track, and help it. But don’t forget that your child is the main actor in their life. It must have time for its own interests and hobbies.
If this freedom does not exist, it is not a hobby but a compulsion. It is then the dream of the parents that they want to achieve through their child. Do not forget that you were already a child, now your own child should enjoy his childhood. Don’t put too much pressure on it, let it be happy.
Happiness has nothing to do with external factors. Rather, it is about being satisfied with yourself. Therefore, do not forget that happiness cannot be achieved with huge sums of money. It does not depend on the professional position either. You probably know a lot of frustrated managers who are unhappy.
Remember that happiness is achieved through love, through experiences that you share with the people you love, with funny experiences, with tokens of love and especially with the loving performance of all activities.
Happy children are successful in life!
