Risks And Dangers Of Giving Our Children Everything They Want
Giving our children everything they want has a bigger impact on their development than you might think. Trying to protect children from frustration can lead to them becoming spoiled and misbehaving.
“I want to play video games all afternoon.” “I don’t go swimming.” “Buy this for me…” These are some of the demands of children that parents will often indulge in to avoid tears, tantrums, or a scene in front of others.
Some pediatricians urge parents to let the children eat and sleep when they want and as much as they want. However, this can cause children to get used to parents indulging in all their whims.
The result of this type of upbringing can lead children to think they can have whatever they want without having to make an effort.
They become selfish, shallow tyrants. If you want to put a smile on your children’s faces, the best thing to do is to raise them well. Help them become successful people with good values.
The risks of giving our children everything they want
When children get everything they want, there is no opportunity for them to feel frustrations.
Frustration is an important and necessary emotion that enables them to face potential challenges in the future. In addition, parents become their servants, constantly striving to give their children everything the heart desires.
These children ultimately believe that just because they are their parents, their parents must comply.
As a result, they don’t feel obliged to deserve anything for themselves because they never had to. They become little dictators who see their parents as servants who have to submit to every will.
Eventually, these children will most likely:
- selfish
- bossy
- aggressive
- intolerant
- materialistic
- superficial
- feel no empathy
They will not know the value of exertion, nor will they want to take responsibility in their lives.
So when you think about it, is this really what you want for yourself and your children?
If you spoil your children too much and give them everything they ask, you are doing them a disservice. And you are definitely not helping them grow or mature.
However, while children tend to ask about things that are readily available, your children get older quickly. The things that they ask only get more complex.
The dangers of giving our children anything they want
- Intolerance. Children are quick to become frustrated when they don’t get what they want. This is especially true between the ages of 2 and 4 years. This is an important and invaluable part of learning. When parents pamper their children, they raise people who cannot stand frustrations. They don’t know how to deal with situations that are not what they want, or how to make the effort to get what they want. In the long term, they don’t know how to function in society.
- Depression. As children grow up, their demands increase. If you don’t buy or give them what they want, they may become aggressive because they can’t control their emotions. During puberty, this can develop into depression.
- Fear. When children have everything, they don’t have time to use all they have. They simply get lost in the “pile of their things”. This can be quite overwhelming and even make them feel anxious.
- Tantrums. When children have tantrums, you should avoid threats. Instead, speak to them carefully and don’t let them see your anger. Stay calm and keep your physical distance. Let them know that you are upset about their behavior, but not with them. Keep your cool, but let them see that you have feelings and that their behavior is wrong.
How do I avoid raising spoiled children?
Stop allowing anything and learn to say no when your children make unnecessary demands. If they want something, show them how they can earn it through age-appropriate activities.
It is important that you are aware of how you are rejecting something. Do it lovingly, but be firm. Learning to say “no” to your children when necessary is an essential part of their healthy development.
Be patient. If your children want something and you don’t give it to them, expect a tantrum. But this too will pass. So stay calm and practice your self-control at all times.
When you lose control, your kids have found the way to manipulate you and assert themselves. But if you can manage to stay in control, you will teach your children that tantrums won’t get them what they want.
Don’t feel bad – what you do is important and will strengthen your children’s characters.
Learning to say no is much more useful than giving them everything they want. Your kids will thank you in the future and you will see how positive it was not to spoil them.
